What's behind those mask

Julie, an immaculately made-up woman, sits down in front of a camera. She has thick, voluminous hair that frames the high cheekbones of her conspicuously crease- free face. Her elegant, arched eyebrows and extra-long eyelashes act as a counterbalance to her plump, painted lips. She looks out of frame, as if admiring herself in a mirror, before giggling and batting her eyelids. “Oh dear,” she purrs, tilting her head from side to side. “Another long day in a wig and a girdle.” She reaches up and emits a light moan as she unclips her gold earrings and gently sets them aside, one by one. She considers her image a few moments longer, then places her hands just below her ears and begins to pull her blemish-free skin off and away from her jawline. It’s only now that we realize it’s not human skin, but rather a mask made of soft, flesh-like silicone rubber. Julie is one of the most visible faces of female masking, a specific subset of cross- dressing men who wear masks, and occasionally skin-tone bodysuits , to make them look more like biological women. The videos that she uploads to YouTube have received hundreds of thousands of views, attracting both fans and detractors. Julie is but one of scores of maskers around the globe; the most popular masking website, Dolls Pride , has almost 10,000 active members. But, until now, the subculture has remained relatively unknown outside the tight-knit community. Even the nation’s foremost experts on sexuality haven’t heard of masking (though it’s worth noting that the practice isn’t always sexually motivated). “I just checked with Dr. Kaplan and neither one of us have heard this term before,” said Dr. Richard Krueger, who, with Dr. Meg Kaplan, heads up the Sexual Behavior Clinic at the New York State Psychiatric Institute. This doesn’t surprise Kerry. At 52, he has been masking for 37 years and is considered by many to be the unofficial matriarch of the scene. He says that while there are magazines featuring maskers that date as far back as the 1930s, the practice has existed largely on the fringe of society. “I've got a fetish book from the 1940s and '50s of people doing female masking back then, so by no means did we invent anything,” he said. “Our grandparents were doing this.” He explains that masking first entered his consciousness when he saw an episode of Mission: Impossible in 1970—there were 10 episodes between 1969 and 1973 that saw actresses Lynda Day George, Lesley Ann Warren, and Barbara Bain wearing masks to impersonate other characters. Intrigued by the idea of transformation, Kerry would sit and look at his third-grade teacher in amazement, wondering what it would be like if her face were a mask. “She was blonde and she had low-cut dresses for the 1970s, and I'd sort of think if she was wearing a mask it would have to extend all the way down her neck,” he said. “And I remember having that thought, if her head was a mask she'd have to have it going all the way down into her dress.” Seven years later at 15, he began experimenting himself. He scoured local costume shops and found two relatively simple masks that he customized to fit his needs. He says he was insecure growing up and that wearing a mask offered him the chance to recreate himself and become someone who didn’t care what others thought. “It'd be one thing to disguise myself as a guy, but I'd still be a guy,” he said. “But if I could disguise myself as a woman that would be a total transformation.” It soon became sexual and he would retreat to his room, put on a mask and masturbate. He says it wasn’t the idea of womanhood that aroused him; it was the masks themselves. “I mostly did think about masks when I was masturbating,” he said. “I never masturbated over naked girls in Playboy or anything like that.” Still, for Kerry, the guilt that can surround teenage sexuality was compounded by the sense that his preference was extremely unusual. “I thought that I've got to be the only person on the planet that has these feelings and these interests,” he said. It wasn’t until the birth of the Internet two decades later that he discovered there was a thriving community of men who also enjoyed wearing female masks—which offered him both solace and an exciting business opportunity. There hadn’t been many developments in the masking world in the intervening 20 years. The two masks Kerry wore during this period were a heavily customized Bride of Frankenstein creation and a blonde woman forever smoking a cigarette. So, disappointed by the dearth of available options, he set about making his own. It wasn’t long before he started selling them to other maskers. His side business became so successful that he quit his day job as a printer and turned a room of his Seattle home into a masking workshop, much to the chagrin of his wife of 12 years. “She thinks it's weird,” he explained, adding that she steers clear of the workroom and its row upon row of female faces. “She doesn't have anything to do with it. Once in a while she might help me with something but it's not really her thing.” Her response also quashed the possibility they’d incorporate masking into their sex life, which Kerry insists is a good thing. “It's one of those things where we all sort of have fantasies, scenarios we'd like to do but I think the reality would be really, really disappointing. So probably better not to try that,” he said. “In a way I don't want to fetishize my wife. You know, I have sex with my wife because I love her. And I don't want to turn her into a sex object, if that makes any sense at all. Because the mask is a fetish object, that's the only thing it really exists for.” He believes his wife’s discomfort reflects society’s attitude toward masking, even if people know about it it’s not something they openly discuss. “A lot of people are very creeped out by the whole masking thing,” he added. “It'd be the same as talking about autoerotic asphyxiation, no one wants to talk about it, you don't want to read about it, and you don't want to hear about it, it's just not part of polite company.” But that hasn’t stopped those at the vanguard of popular culture from taking note of Kerry and his masked brethren. Fashion photographer Steven Meisel shot women in female masks for Vogue Italia in 2012 after coming across videos online. Actress Jamie Brewer also wore a female mask during the Halloween episode of Ryan Murphy’s American Horror Story , screen grabs of which were taken and quickly shared among members of the masking community. These non-judgmental representations are considered a welcome departure from what’s usually on offer. Masks are a familiar trope used in horror movies to build fear around the concept of the unknown, and Silence of the Lambs took things one step further, with serial killer Buffalo Bill skinning his female victims to make a bodysuit—not entirely dissimilar to the silicone ones maskers sometimes wear. Kerry believes the association helps to demonize and further marginalize maskers, though he’s not completely humorless about it. “If I had him as a customer we would have saved all those girls lives,” he laughed. While most maskers realize the practice is not broadly accepted, the criticism they get from others within the fetish community, as well as non-masking cross-dressers, carries a particular sting. “It does strike me odd though that people who practice some of the most socially unacceptable behaviors can also be the most prejudiced,” said T-Vyrus, 34 “in doll years,” a self-described “drag queen, tranny, female masker” and editor of masking magazine Hot Girls . “Among cross- dressers, shemales, trannies and the like, there is often the thought that masking isn't real, that it's a put on, a surrogate, a farce. The thought that if a person were truly serious, they wouldn't hide behind a mask.” Lisa This fear of rejection is what keeps truck driver Lisa, 47, from wearing a mask in public. Like Kerry, she identifies as a heterosexual man and maintains an active “male life” during the day, but uses the female pronoun when she transforms into Lisa, his alter ego, at night. She lives with her two sisters in New Jersey, and though they are aware of what their brother gets up to behind a locked bedroom door, it’s never discussed. She never openly masks around the house and wouldn’t think to step outside. Apart from the fact that her six-foot-two, 260- pound frame would be a dead giveaway, Lisa’s reluctance to come out is bolstered by the belief that her brother’s attempts to pass as a woman in public are what led to his drug overdose. Lisa said she realized her brother, Mike, was interested in women’s clothing when she came home one day to find him dressed in a French maid costume. Their father had originally bought the outfit to wear on Halloween, the only time that he could openly indulge his own interest in cross-dressing—it was an open secret that all three men in the family liked to wear women’s clothes. “It's in our blood,” said Lisa, adding that they never spoke of it. “I come from a very hard-working, blue-collar, macho family, and it was never discussed, ever.” Her sister would often come to her to complain about missing clothing, demanding to know what had happened to it. “I told her, 'I didn't do it,’” she said. “And I didn't, it was my brother!” Mike was the most audacious, according to Lisa. He would venture outdoors dressed in full drag, despite the fact that he was “taller and bigger” than everyone. “He's a very big man,” she said. “So for him to actually try to pull off looking like a woman … I hate to say it but that wasn't going to happen.” His bravado ended up costing him. Mike decided to come out to some friends, and it resulted, Lisa believes, in his death. “He told a few people and when they got mad at him they told everybody,” she said. “And right away, he's a pervert, he's a loser, he's gay, and all that, you know? And I don't think he dealt with that too well. He ended up taking drugs and ended up dying because of that.” For her part, Lisa is content to stay indoors and speak to her masking friends online. She admits it can be lonely, but adds that her masks offer some consolation. “I have trouble with girlfriends and I think it helps fill the void of not having a female around,” she said. “I create that kind of entity in myself when I don't have that companionship.” She has, however, struck up a close friendship with one particular masker, and they chat three or four times a week. Though she says she’s not into it, Lisa agrees to act out the role-playing scenarios that have come to define their friendship. “There's one guy who calls me Mommy,” she said. “He thinks I'm his mother. He wants to be the daughter. I kind of actually feel squeamish about the whole thing, but I feel sorry for the guy I feel bad because I don't think he has anybody to talk to, as I really don't either. So we keep each other company by talking to each other.” Though Lisa has no plans to out herself in the immediate future for fear of losing what she has “on the other side of the mask,” she hopes that things will change to the point where she’ll be able to pluck up the courage to one day reveal herself. “There are senators out there doing this too, you know. Judges, police officers, every walk of life,” she said. “It's just something that we do to pretty much escape reality sometimes.”

Gate out of retirement:

ertainly the two go back a long way. Mr Gates watched as Apple was established in 1976, a year after his own company, sparking a race between the two technology chiefs to see who could launch the best products. He also watched as Mr Jobs was ejected from the business he founded, only for Apple to crumble and beg him to return as an advisor. Finally, Mr Gates watched as Mr Jobs reinvigorated Apple as chief executive, and built it into a company that not only eclipsed Microsoft, but briefly ranked as the largest public business in the world. Arguably, the Microsoft founder is taking a leaf out Mr Jobs’ book now. He has formally stepped down as chairman of the Seattle computer giant, but rather than weakening ties, he is ready to roll his sleeves up and re-boot the business he founded. He will remain on the board as “founder and technology advisor” and return to Microsoft for an estimated three days a week, “shaping strategy and product direction”. READ: Bill Gates needs to make Microsoft aspirational again “You cannot underestimate the importance of this,” said Dan Lavin, head of consultancy firm Silicon Valley Ventures, who has worked with Mr Gates in the past. “Bill being there three days a week is, to my mind, the same as him taking over again, but without the giant disruption of him actually taking the reins. “Think of it this way: how many days a week was Bill in the office when he was chief executive? Not much more than three. He is the technology advisor when there is only, essentially, technology at Microsoft.” There is no doubt that Microsoft needs a shake-up. It used to be the largest technology company in the world, thanks to its ubiquitous Windows software, but over the past decade it has lost considerable ground to rivals such as Apple and Google. During the last 17 years that Steve Ballmer was chief executive, it has lost around a third of its value, and earned a reputation for being technologically sluggish. Microsoft was too slow to produce hardware that tried to rival innovations like Apple’s iPad, and when it did – with the Surface tablet – its efforts fell short. Mr Gates’ return to the coal face is likely to boost morale among Microsoft employees, many of whom still regard him as a hero, if not an icon. He may have cut his teeth in a very different era for technology, but, insiders say, he remains “the smartest guy in any room”. Shareholders might have a harder time buying into the “Bill Gates resurgence” story, however. He has done little to intervene over the past 17 years, as the business ran into difficulties, preferring to focus on his charitable foundation and leave Microsoft to Mr Ballmer, a close friend and major shareholder. Few other chief executives would have survived as long as Mr Ballmer did given Microsoft’s performance. Microsoft threw a sop to investors on Tuesday by appointing John Thompson, the former chief executive of Symantec and Microsoft’s lead independent director, as chairman of the board. However, that is the only real injection of outside blood in the mix. Mr Ballmer will remain on the board, while Satya Nadella, a Microsoft executive for the past 22 years, takes the helm as chief executive. Mr Nadella previously headed Microsoft’s so-called “enterprise” computing division, which produces technology for businesses, as well as its cloud operations, which are used for everything from storing data for large corporations to hosting Xbox games. He was quick to demonstrate a new, more open style of leadership on Tuesday. In a video interview, he discussed his wife, children and feelings about getting the Microsoft job before getting to the meat of the business. When he did, he said he wanted to sweep away any obstacles that stop individuals in the company from innovating. But although Mr Nadella is well respected within Microsoft, he remains a relatively low key figure and it is hard to imagine how he will operate effectively alongside the higher profile Mr Gates. Sources close to the business were incredulous that Mr Nadella would ever be able to overrule the Microsoft founder if they take opposite views in meetings. That does not make Mr Nadella a figurehead, however. Instead, sources likened him to Tim Cook, the Apple chief who first spent years as chief operating officer under Mr Jobs. “He was very, very powerful, even when Jobs was in charge.” What’s more, having Mr Gates on site as his backer, makes him virtually unassailable to internal revolts. However the power games play out, Mr Gates’ return to the Microsoft machine is expected to usher in a new era at the business, reigniting its old rivalry with Apple, as well as some new ones with the likes of Google and Amazon. But while the competitive tensions are old, dating back to the early days of the friendly rivalry between Mr Gates and Mr Jobs, that doesn’t mean the Microsoft chief’s plan of attack will belong to the last century as well. “Gates wouldn’t come back if he didn’t think he would do something very substantive,” says Mr Lavin. “I believe he will do something very different. He has the strong potential to turn Microsoft around.”

Think before you leave that job.

Before You Quit Your Low Paying Job Check This List: Checklist Before You Said 'I Quit'- 10 Questions Before You Quit Your Job This is for those earning very small salary or are not fulfilled in the job they are presently doing, especially those of us who believe that a J.O.B stands for Just Obeying Bosses Probably you've walked boldly so many times into your boss's office to say "I Quit",but on reaching there your confidence seems to have eroded faster than the melting of ice at 1000 degrees centigrade and you ended up greeting him. These ten crucial questions, answered honestly, will help you to think it through, evaluate your position and view the prospect with a steady gaze. 1. Why do you want to quit? Be clear about why you want to leave so that you don't jump out of the frying pan and into the fire. Experience has showed the reason why people quit, the most common reasons are: You need a better pay You've been there too long and you're bored and stuck You're no longer interested in the subject or the work You're undervalued Reorganisation and restructuring have changed your role You're making no progress You're too young to sit it out until you retire You don't get on with your co-workers or your manager A general need for change (some people need the stimulus of change in their lives more than others). 2. Do you really want to quit your job? Think about whether it really is your job that you want to change. Be very specific about what you do and don't like about your current work - it may be your role, your boss, the working environment or your terms and conditions. Think about exactly what would make your working life more enjoyable. Make sure you explore all your options and don't rush the process. You may find that you can make a change in a less drastic way, for example: Finding another job in the same sector (i.e. at another University or College if you are an academic) Change sector (for example, move from the academic to the private sector/industrial research, the charity sector) Modify your existing job (by going part-time and pursuing another interest, moving sideways, finding a second opportunity or getting involved in another project). 3. What kind of work do you want to do? You may already have a good idea of what you want to do. Answering the first two questions may have helped clarify your needs. Now think about what your ideal job would entail on a day-to-day basis, for example: less paperwork and admin working with different kinds of people, fewer people or in a team rather than on your own more or less direction, micro-management or support more outdoor work, more or less travelling working from home working more flexibly You may be able to negotiate these changes within your role at present. Your boss or manager may be able to help you with your problem, but you could make it easier for both of you if you already have some realistic and practical ideas. If you have an idea, write it down and approach your boss with it. Don't forget to include any benefits for your manager or the institution/ organisation. 4. What are your skills and capabilities? Think about your transferable skills and capabilities, aside from the specific subject or job area, for example: organisational skills teaching/lecturing detailed research work fundraising knowledge and ability people skills ideas and getting initiatives off the ground. 5. Do you want to use your existing skills and capabilities? You may be thinking that you want a complete change, away from everything, but be sensible. Think about other roles or jobs where you can use the knowledge, skills and capabilities that you have built up. Talk to the people you work with to find out if there are opportunities associated with your work: suppliers, fellow project members or members of a professional association, if you belong to one, may give you ideas to explore. Sideways moves, consultancies and poacher-turned- gamekeeper jobs may be suitable. 6. What are you interested in? When you're thinking about a new job, be sure that it is something you really are interested in. It may be that although your reasons for moving are financial, a fat salary may not be enough to keep you interested. The money may be right but remember that you will be doing this job day in day out. Does the remuneration offer enough of an incentive? 7. What are your values? Even if you don't think that you have particularly hard-held values, you may be surprised - a disconnect between your everyday activity and what you believe in can be very uncomfortable. For instance, an academic who moves into a fast-paced commercial environment may find the bottom-line, profit-making approach and the way it affects every part of the work unacceptable. On the other hand, someone moving into academic life from the commercial sector may have difficulty with the gentler, less targeted approach of institutional life. Explore your values. Examples are: doing good making a difference recognition for hard work and enterprise status and importance (don't tell yourself it doesn't matter - it does! You may be able to deal admirably with working under a manager who is younger, and less experienced than you are. Even so, it's worth thinking about.) being free to work without commercial constraints. 8. Are you prepared to retrain or start from the bottom again? Of course, if you are already committed to a complete change, you will need to think of the implications for you and your family. You may have to start from square one again and live with all the consequences of that such as lack of status and lack of money! 9. How much money do you need to make? Crucial! Are you prepared to drop your income level? Take a long hard look at you current finances and write it all down: outgoings, income, extra expenses. See where you can make cuts and get a very clear idea of exactly how much money you need to make over a year. Then do the same with any enterprise, new position or job. 10. Will you regret it if you don't? The saying goes that you only regret what you didn't do. In two years time, five years time or 10 years time, will you regret not having made a change? Goodluck.